


Picking Up

by CrazyTaraWitch



Series: Long After Hope [2]
Category: Babylon 5
Genre: F/F, Family Fluff, Fluff, one mediocre sex scene that can easily be skipped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-21 05:37:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10678779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyTaraWitch/pseuds/CrazyTaraWitch
Summary: After more than 12 years, Susan and Talia have found each other again, but can they pick up where they left off?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I realized yesterday that I never posted this story here, so thought I would fix that. I'll be making a few edits as I go, but nothing drastic, so the whole thing should be up within a few days.  
> I'll be honest, I don't think I captured the characters very well in this story (especially towards the end), but I like it anyway because it's fluffy and I want them to be happy.

An hour after leaving Babylon 5, Talia sat on the ship feeling restless. Knowing Susan and Sofie were somewhere on board but not being able to see or talk to them was driving her crazy. Screw the rules, she thought defiantly, unstrapping her safety belt. She'd just have a quick wander, she told herself, and if she happened to find Susan along the way so much the better.

 

Susan put down her book in frustration. Sofie had dozed off half an hour ago, but she couldn't get comfortable. All she could think about was Talia; what was she thinking right now? What was she feeling? She was tempted to go find her, if only to see her smile for a moment, but she couldn't leave her daughter. As she looked at the empty seat across from her she sighed wistfully, wishing it were occupied by a certain blonde.

Not 5 minutes later, it seemed her wish might just come true. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw Talia; it seemed impossible that in only an hour she could have already forgotten the extent of the woman's beauty, but it hit her full force. When Talia smiled at her, she thought she might melt then and there.

"Please, sit," Ivanova suggested, gesturing to the empty seat.

Talia sat and glanced at the wall. Smiling ruefully she admitted, "I always feel like passenger ships should have little windows, like in airplanes."

Susan chuckled at that. "I haven't been on a regular airplane since I was 8, just a few little jets. Ships like this feel normal to me now, especially after commanding a few myself."

The two women slipped into easy, superficial conversation for a while, each enjoying the simple pleasantries and the other's nearness. After a while, they got onto the subject of their lives now.

Susan explained that ever since Sofie was born she'd been looking for a stable place to raise her and finally seemed to have found one a year ago. She was running a small military base, with several other children including a boy Sofie's age. She wanted to give her daughter a home, the kind of life she missed having when she was that age. It sounded lovely to Talia, who couldn't remember ever having a home or family outside the Corps.

When it was Talia's turn to talk about her life, she explained that she worked as part of a group of loosely affiliated commercial telepaths on Mars, but that she was currently at the start of a month-long vacation. "Ever since they got their independence," Talia explained, "the Martians have been big on workers' rights. Things are a lot like they were in Europe a few centuries ago; 6 weeks' vacation a year, paid family leave, even socialized health care. Pretty different from things on Earth, although the government is still struggling to get stabilized so I'm sure it could change at any time. Mars has its advantages, but Earth still feels like home. That's why I decided to visit for a few weeks, after my trip to the station. It's funny after all the years I've spent off-world, but I can't help missing beaches and seasons and that proper Earth sunshine."

"So, you'll be on Earth for a while?" Susan tried to hide the hopefulness from her voice, but she couldn't hide it from her mind.

Talia smiled softly. "That was the plan. There's a certain woman I'm hoping to visit."

Susan stiffened. "I'm sure you'll have a lovely time," she said tightly.

For the first time all day, Talia saw the old familiar walls go up between them, and that simply wouldn't do. "She's an old friend of mine, but if I'm honest I hope she can be more than that, someday. I'm not sure yet how she feels about me," Talia reached out and grabbed Susan's hand, holding it gently and looking into her eyes, "but I knew how I felt from the moment we met."

Susan smiled shyly, an uncharacteristic flush colouring her cheeks. She squeezed Talia's hands and then let go, needing to pull back from the heat that was building between them.

After that, the conversation returned to the same casual topics as before. An hour passed easily, and when Sofie woke up asking about dinner they weren't far from Earth. Though the ship only seated a hundred passengers and was more than half empty, there was a small restaurant selling sandwiches and drinks. The three of them walked there together and sat at the only booth. Sofie begged for a milkshake, but Susan insisted it was too much sugar. Despite Susan's raised eyebrows, Talia ordered one herself, and when Susan looked away she slid it across the table with a wink. Sofie grinned as she took a sip before passing it back. Susan was far from oblivious, but she let it slide, not having the heart to disrupt their bonding.

Not long after they returned to their seats, Talia's official assignment completely forgotten, the announcement came that they were entering Earth's atmosphere and would be touching down in San Houston in half an hour.

Sofie was wide awake now, and pulled out a drawing pad where she began to doodle. The three of them settled into a comfortable silence, Susan pulling out a newspaper and offering Talia each section as she finished it. From time to time Sofie would show off one of her sketches, Susan and Talia taking turns asking questions. It was a simple evening, but for Talia it felt magical.

 

When finally it was time to put things away and prepare for landing, Sofie began to ask questions. Where were they landing? How were they getting home? How long would it take? And, most important of all, was Talia coming with them?

"If you came with us, I could show you my DollShip! John wanted to get me a DollHouse cause he says little girls love them, but why would you want a boring old house when you could have a spaceship to fly everywhere? And my doll's ship is the best ever! If you come to the base I'll show you and you can play with me. And I can show you my favourite trees to climb and we can have adventures! Pleeease?" The words tumbled out of her mouth in rapid succession, leaving no room for the adults to interject, even if they had known what to say. By the time she finished, Talia was barely containing her giggles. She glanced at Susan and they both burst into full-fledged laughter.

When finally the women stopped laughing, Susan turned to her daughter. "We're landing in San Houston, in Texas. One of the Lieutenants from base should be there to pick us up. Then it's just a short flight home, an hour or less," she explained. Before she was forced to answer any more questions, they felt the ship land and the announcement came that they could now exit.

Their things gathered, the three headed off the ship. When they made it outside, the small jet waiting for Susan and Sofie was easy to spot, but none of them moved that way just yet. Sofie looked up at her mother, and after a moment's gaze Susan turned to Talia.

Susan quirked her eyebrow as if to say, _"Well? Are you coming?"_ Her confident smile was all the invitation Talia needed. A grin broke across her face, and a moment later it was mirrored on Susan's. Sofie squealed in delight and gave Talia a quick hug before running to the plane, leaving the adults in her wake laughing once again.

"Well Miss Winters, shall we?" Susan prompted. On impulse Talia linked her arm through Susan's and kissed her on the cheek.

 

If their pilot noticed a blush on his Colonel's face as they entered the plane, he had the sense not to mention it.


	2. Chapter 2

Three days later, Talia Winters woke to the sound of thunder. She'd always loved storms, and though it was still earlyshe got out of bed quickly and grabbed her robe from the closet.

She knew Susan had an early meeting and hoped to find her in the living room, but instead there was a smaller brunette sitting on the couch and staring out the window. Talia was surprised to sense joy and excitement from Sofie, instead of the fear she would have expected.

"Talia!" Sofie greeted her excitedly as she sat down beside her. "Isn't the lightning _pretty_?"

"It's gorgeous! I love the thunder too, and the rain. I didn't know you like storms."

"I LOVE them!" the girl enthused. "Mommy doesn't like them, especially if they wake her up, but sometimes she'll go out with me so I can play. I'm not allowed in storms on my own."

"I have an idea. Since I love storms, and you love storms, what do you say we go for a little walk in the rain?" Talia suggested brightly.

"Yes yes yes yes yes yes!" Sofie squealed, jumping off the couch. "I can wear my rain coat and my boots!" Talia found herself grinning as she watched the girl dash off to her room.

She went back to the spare bedroom and searched the closet for something suitable to wear. Though she'd only been there two days, she'd already unpacked; having clothes in a suitcase felt too much like she was leaving, and Talia already felt as if she never wanted to go. With a sigh, for the first time she could recall Talia Winters wished she owned rattier clothing. Much as she liked to look nice, dresses and business suits were no good for playing with an eight year old.

A little knock came at the door, but Sofie didn't wait for a response before opening the door and bounding in. "Are you playing in the rain like _that_?" she asked quizzically, eyeing the skirt Talia held.

"Actually, I was just wishing I had something to wear like your wonderful raincoat, or at least playclothes to get messy in. I'm afraid all my clothes are a little too nice for playing in the rain."

"You can borrow from Mommy," Sofie suggested. "She mostly wears her uniform and likes to look nice, but she has special make-a-mess-clothes."

"I'd hate to wake her," Talia said uncertainly. She'd been not much older than Sofie the last time she'd played in the rain and she was surprised by how badly she wanted to go, but she knew how much Susan loved sleep when she could get it and didn't want to disturb her.

"If you're extra extra quiet," Sofie whispered, "she won't wake up. She keeps her messy clothes in the bottom drawer so I can reach to play with them if I want. Mommy's good at sharing."

"Well… Alright. I'll just have to be extra sneaky," Talia relented with a small smile.

Opening the door hesitantly, Talia peeked inside before entering Susan's bedroom for the first time. The room was simple and tasteful, decorated in black and dark blue. The only frill was a large 4-poster bed with a canopy. The place seemed to fit its owner and Talia smiled approvingly as she entered. It wasn't hard to find the clothes Sofie had spoken of, and she quickly selected a pair of old-fashioned jeans and a long-sleeved shirt with so many paint stains it was hard to guess what colour it had been to start with. It was hard to imagine Susan dressed so casually, but Talia smiled at the thought that over the years her Commander had learned to let her hair down.

The drawer squeeked a little as Talia pushed it in and Susan stirred. Talia approached the bed and Susan's eyes flickered open. It was clear she was only half-awake, but she smiled when Talia kissed her forehead and whispered, "Shh, sleep." As Talia started to move away, she felt Susan's hand reach out for hers. Even now, years after the Corps had been destroyed and with it the mandate that telepaths wear gloves, Talia rarely felt skin against her own, and a jolt ran through her at the small contact. When Susan brought her hand to her mouth and placed a feather-light kiss, Talia felt a wave of affection that seemed to belong to them both.

"Night Tal," Susan mumbled, dropping her hand and drifting back to sleep.

Talia was tempted to abandon her plans and crawl into bed beside her former-lover; there was nothing she wanted more in that moment than to wrap her arms around Susan Ivanova and hold her close, but there was a very special girl waiting for her and Talia knew she couldn't disappoint.

* * *

An hour later, Susan got up with a smile on her face. She had no idea why the other woman had been in her room earlier, but all that mattered was for the first time in 12 years she had woken to the sight of Talia Winters.

She got up with far more energy than usual, hoping to see her guest and have a few precious moments to spend together before work. Entering the living room, she was disappointed to find it empty, until she looked outside and saw a beautiful sight. The storm had mostly passed but it was still raining lightly, and the sun was shining down on the backyard where Talia and Sofie were spinning together and laughing. Susan had never seen Talia looking so carefree, and her heart swelled with the knowledge that her daughter had brought the woman such simple joy.

A moment later, Talia caught her eye, and suddenly she and Sofie were running to the door hand in hand, grinning from ear to ear. They stopped at the door to wrap up in towels, then came inside and gave Susan the most enthusiastic "good morning" of her life.

Talia and Sofie went off to get cleaned up while Susan had coffee and a quick breakfast. She was nearly ready to leave when Talia reappeared.

"You know, if you're not careful you're going to spoil my daughter," Susan teased.

Talia walked closer with a sly grin and leaned in to whisper in Susan's ear. "She's not the only one I want to spoil." A shiver ran through Susan, but before she could do anything about it Sofie came bouncing into the room.

"Hey little one," Susan greeted her with a warm smile. "I have a very big favour to ask of you. I have to go back to work today, so if you go to camp Talia will be left here all alone, and she doesn't really know her way around base yet. Since you two had such fun this morning, maybe you could stay home today and show her around?"

"Can I take her to watch the Starfuries fly? Pleeeease?"

"That, is up to you and Talia. I just want you too to have fun, okay?"

"Okay!"

"That is, of course," Susan added to Talia, "if you don't mind having your very own tour guide?"

"It sounds perfect," she agreed warmly, "and if Sofie will help me I think we can even find ourselves a yummy breakfast."

"Ooo, yay! Can there be flarn? And pancakes?"

"We'll see," Talia said with a laugh.

It was with great reluctance that Susan dragged herself out the door. Before leaving she kissed Sofie on the cheek, then on impulse repeated the gesture with Talia. She was rewarded with a look that told her under different circumstances the kiss would be returned with interest.  
  


Talia spent a wonderful day with Sofie, playing and exploring the base together. Somehow their day home together stretched through the rest of the week. Sofie finally returned to summer camp the following Monday, but when Talia picked her up she was greeted with a warm hug and an "I missed you."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me a lot longer to post because I had wanted to rework it, but this is me giving up. I'm not Jewish and I've never celebrated Rosh Hashanah, so I truly hope that my portrayal isn't disrespectful. I did a bit more research in the hopes of rewriting one or two of these scenes, but honestly I don't have the time or energy. I realize now that the holiday ought to be a lot more serious and somber than what I wrote, and for that I apologize; I hope this doesn't come off as dismissive, as my intent was to honor traditions and acknowledge Susan's heritage. (I love the idea that even though she's not very religious Susan would want to raise Sofie with the holidays she remembers fondly, to give her that piece of history.)  
> (Also the last scene is incredibly cheesy, but OH WELL.)

Two weeks later Sofie was due to start 3rd grade.  
  
She was thrilled, much to her mother's bafflement; Susan had been a decent student, but always preferred being active to sitting in a classroom. Sofie's energy was practically limitless, but she loved to learn, and as long as she got an hour or two of recess to run and play school was one of her favourite things in the world. Susan loved to see her daughter's enthusiasm, even if she didn't quite understand it.

There was one person in the house who was secretly less than thrilled about the start of the school year. To Talia, Sofie's return to school meant a return to normal life. Far too soon, it would be time for her to leave.

  
Part of her wondered how the time passed so quickly, but a bigger part of her felt as if she'd always been there. The spare bedroom had quickly become decorated with flowers Sofie collected, art they made together, and a beautiful box Susan had surprised her with one day. Sofie had even placed a photo she'd taken of Talia and Susan on the refrigerator next to a photo of Delenn and David.  
  
The three of them had fallen into an easy rhythm; Susan went to work in the morning and took Sofie to camp while Talia spent a few hours by herself, enjoying the garden and the real Earth-sunlight, reading a book or going for a walk, and then inevitably by early afternoon thinking up some excuse to pick up Sofie. They'd drop by the Colonel's office on their way home for a few minutes with Susan between meetings and paperwork.  
The afternoons were spent playing, with Sofie teaching Talia to climb trees and ride quadricycles, giving her the childhood she'd never been allowed to have in the Psi Corps. On days Susan came home early they all made dinner together, and other days Talia and Sofie did their best to cook a delicious meal for when Susan finally arrived. The nights were Talia's favourite time, after Sofie went to bed and she and Susan had hours alone.  


She was painfully aware of the fact she and Susan had yet to kiss or acknowledge their feelings, yet as they went through their days it felt… like family. Talia and Susan cooked together, ate together, laughed together; they talked about their days, they watched old movies, they sat in peaceful silence. In every way but one, it was everything Talia had ever wanted. It was true she and Susan had yet to be physically intimate, despite the desire they both felt, but she knew that would come in time—which was exactly the problem. Time was what they didn't have, because they both knew it wasn't forever.

They didn't talk about it, but no matter how much Talia became part of their daily lives they both knew this was just a vacation. Talia suspected that that knowledge, more than anything, was what kept them from making their relationship a physical one. For now, they could pretend they were merely friends, and this was a wonderful little break from reality; but the moment Talia slept in Susan's bed and woke beside her, the moment Susan's room became _their_ room, their lives would fit together and it would feel like forever. Talia had let herself dream once before that she had forever with Susan, or at least a chance at forever, and Psi Corps ripped that away; she couldn't bear to lose that again.  
  
The fact Talia felt more at home here than anywhere else in her life was wonderful and excruciating. She wanted this life, not just for the next day or the next week but for always. She wanted to stay, but she'd been here two weeks without a word from Susan about the future. They'd fallen into an easy, happy pattern, but maybe that's all it was. Much as she could feel that Susan longed to kiss her and make love, Talia feared that she held back to keep from giving the wrong impression—the impression that this was more than just a pleasant holiday.  
Better to keep the last wall between them, the last barrier dividing a friend come to visit from a lover come to stay.

Whatever was or wasn't happening between them, it was all about to come to an end. Talia had already been gone nearly three weeks, but it was knowing that Sofie was going back to normal life that forced her to realize she couldn't escape her own.

The Saturday before Sofie's first day, Susan invited Talia to join them on a shopping trip for school supplies; in fact, the invite seemed more of a plea, and when they got to the first shop Talia understood why. Sofie was bouncing everywhere, trying on everything, and talking a mile a minute. It was exhausting just to watch her! And there were crowds everywhere they went, thoughts and feelings pounding all around them.

After a few hours Susan's patience was wearing thin, but she perked up a little upon noticing a sign on the door of a shop: "Closed next Sunday through Tuesday for Rosh Hashanah. L'shanah tovah."

"I forgot it was next week! I guess we'll need to buy some honey and challah, huh Sof?"  
  
"Yummmm! Will you celebrate with us Talia? It's the Jewish New Year and we get to eat apples with honey and wash in the creek and say goodbye to all the bad things of the year, and Mommy says you should always start the year how you want to spend it so we have lots of fun and lots of Mommy-Sofie time, but this year it could be Mommy-Sofie-Talia time."

Talia looked at Susan uncertainly, but when she felt the warm hand squeezing her own she felt reassured. "Please Talia, we'd love you to join us."

"Alright then," she agreed with a smile. _What's a few more days? Work can wait._

Knowing that she now had an excuse to stay just a little bit longer, Talia's mood instantly brightened, and even the emotions of all the people surrounding them were less bothersome than before.

* * *

Once again the days passed too soon. Talia loved hearing about Sofie's school and even helped her with homework one night, but she missed having the days with her. She went for walks and did her best to keep busy and enjoy herself, but she couldn't help wishing throughout her days that the Ivanovas were beside her.  


When the weekend came Talia was thrilled for the extra time with Susan and Sofie, and she loved how they took turns explaining all their holiday traditions in preparation. At first they just told her about Rosh Hashanah, the tradition of asking G-d for forgiveness and starting the new year with only the things you wanted to bring with you, but soon they were discussing all their holidays and celebrations. Not just the Jewish ones, either; Sofie told her of the Christmas they'd spent with the Sheridans at John's parents' home, and how she and David had opened stockings and John's dad managed to get an actual pine tree, and Susan recounted a Minbari holiday they had celebrated on one of their visits.

Talia wished she had her own stories to add, but apart from a few casual Christmas parties and one unpleasant New Year's Eve celebration with a drunken date she'd never had a holiday. The fact that her first was going to be here, with Susan and Sofie, filled her with delight.

Susan explained that they weren't very traditional in their celebrations, they still went to work and school and since they didn't have a synagogue here they just said a few prayers at home, but it still seemed quite festive to Talia.  
On Sunday, they had their sweetened apples for desert, and made their wishes that the new year would stay as sweet as the honey. There were many smiles and laughter, and three hearts filled with the quiet hope that they would spend the year just like this, the three of them together.

Monday afternoon, Talia picked Sofie up as soon as school was out and they met Susan in her office. It was early for Susan to head home and she'd have to make up paperwork that night, but it was a holiday and she wanted to spend it with them.

There was a creek on the training grounds, and though it wasn't for general use being in charge had its perks. As they made their way there, Susan explained the meaning of Tashlikh, the casting off of the old year's sins into the water. Sofie had mentioned the practice to her, but Talia loved hearing Susan talk about her traditions and beliefs.  
Talia's heart fluttered when Susan squeezed her hand and looked into her eyes. "It's a way to make a fresh start, and begin the new year with only the pieces of the past that you want most in your life."

Talia felt her heart beat faster at these words, and the meaning behind them. The knowledge that she was something from the past that Susan most wanted to keep filled Talia with pride.

They draped their towels on the branch of a tall oak tree and waded into the water side by side. Sofie was a few yards downstream, splashing away and paying no attention to the grownups.

It was a hot, dry day, likely one of the last of the summer, and the cool water felt wonderful. Talia traced invisible patterns on the surface, enjoying the way it flowed over her fingers. All the little sensations she had missed out on in the years she kept her hands hidden were precious to her now, even ones as simple as the flow of water that wasn't from a sink. She felt Susan watching her and a smile traced her lips, but she didn't look up, enjoying the simple knowledge that the other woman enjoyed watching.

A few moments later, there was a hand beside hers in the water. She watched Susan's fingers draw a heart on the surface and smiled up at her before splashing her on impulse. "You. Are. Dead," a dripping Susan asserted, attempting to glare but failing to hide the sparkle in her eyes. And so began the most aggressive splash war of their lives. They were both soaked in less than a minute, but that did nothing to slow them down. Susan's battle training made her an aggressive foe, but Talia's enthusiasm helped her hold her own. The battle ended only when Sofie quite literally jumped into the foray, landing on her mother's back and dunking her in the water.  
Talia and Sofie burst into laughter and Susan, when she resurfaced, lasted mere moments before her resistance failed and she joined them.

"Beaten by an 8 year old," Talia teased. "You're lucky none of your subordinates were here to witness your disgrace."

"I'll have you know," Susan informed her with false dignity, working hard to keep a straight face, "this particular 8 year old is a warrior-in-training and the daughter of a decorated war hero. I am proud to see her training in combat is coming along so well."

Sofie grinned proudly. "Someday I'm going to be a Ranger and I'll fly everywhere and save everyone and I'll win ALL the splash wars!"

Talia started to head toward the bank and her towel. "Be careful, we all know even the best warriors can fall victim to—a sneak attack!" she warned sending a wave of water crashing over the little girl before she darted out of the water and behind a tree, a silly grin brightening her face. A moment later Susan and Sofie pounced on her as one, tickling her until she surrendered.

* * *

It only occurred to Talia hours later, sitting next to Susan on the couch long after Sofie went to bed, that her behavior might have been inappropriate. It was a religious ceremony after all, an important ritual not a game. She tried to apologize, but Susan stopped her.

"Talia, at Rosh Hashanah I do my best to start the year the way I want to spend it. I spent the day having fun with the two people who mean the most to me; what more could I want from my year?" A smile spread over Talia's face, erasing her worry and lighting up her eyes.

"I love that," Susan observed.

"Love what?" Talia asked in confusion.

"The way your eyes get bluer when you smile. Most of the time they're a sort of… stormy grey, but when you smile it's like the blue sky coming through the clouds."

Talia felt her heart beat faster at the unexpected compliment, but unsure how to respond she decided to play it safe and stick with more familiar ground; she wanted desperately to continue that line of conversation and see where it led, but she was terrified of scaring Susan away. Their afternoon had been perfect, and she didn't want to do anything to ruin this day, so she replied with a teasing tone, "I thought you didn't like storms."

With a cocky grin Susan responded, "Why do you think I try so hard to make you smile?"

"And here I thought you wanted to make me happy," Talia replied with an attempted frown that couldn't hide the sparkle in her eyes. Something in Susan's smile shifted, and her eyes took on a hint of the storm that had just left the blonde's.

"Now Miss Winters," she whispered softly, leaning in close, "what on earth would make you think that?" Talia gasped as Susan's lips lightly touched her own, sending a shock through her body. As the kiss deepened, it felt like every inch of her was on fire. Susan's hands came to her waist, lifting her shirt slightly, and where her hands came to rest Talia felt her skin burn. As she reached up to stroke Susan's cheek, the only thought in her mind was, _If fire is the cost, I'll gladly die in flames._

Their mouths moved together for time without end, hands exploring with all the gentleness lost in their hungry lips and tongues as they devoured each other. After what might have been hours or only moments, Susan began to lower them onto the sofa. Unwilling to pull her mouth away from Talia for even a moment, she pulled them down without caution, and the next thing they knew they had fallen unceremoniously onto the floor.

Talia was still half on top of Susan and they could feel each other's chests tremble with barely restrained laughter until it burst forth from them both. They wrapped their arms around each other as their bodies continued to shake]. The feel of Talia's breasts rising and falling against her own both soothed and aroused Susan, but the moment seemed to have passed. When she had her laughter under control, Susan observed sheepishly, "Not quite the romantic reunion I'd imagined."

Talia chuckled and shifted to lie more firmly atop Susan, resting her head on the other woman's shoulder. "I missed you," she whispered.

They held each other for a long time, each aware of the awkwardness of their position sandwiched between the sofa and table but neither willing to give up the feel of the other after so long. Finally Susan's breathing began to still and Talia realized she had drifted off to sleep. She laid there a little while longer, shifting so she could watch Susan's face as she slumbered peacefully, memorizing every new line that had creased her features since they last lay like this so many years ago.

Finally, when Talia could barely keep her own eyes open, she reluctantly pulled herself away. She stood slowly and walked to the guest room, but returned a moment later carrying the blanket she had slept with for the last month. Crouching down, she draped it over Susan and gently tucked it around her shoulders, then swept a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Leaning down and planting a soft kiss on Susan's forehead, Talia murmured, "Goodnight my love," before heading to her bed and falling asleep with a smile gracing the lips that could still feel Susan Ivanova.


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm expected back in a couple of days," Talia mentioned the next night with a failed attempt at sounding casual, not quite meeting Susan's eyes.   
  
The other woman immediately stiffened. She stood and gathered up their glasses to avoid looking at Talia as she responded.

"I'm sure you'll be glad to be home, get back to your life," Susan said tensely as she headed for the kitchen. As she started to walk passed, Talia caught her wrist and stared at her until Susan returned the gaze.

"I don't have to go," she murmured in a throaty voice. The silence stretched between them until a tired little voice spoke from the hallway.

"Mommy? I'm thirsty." And just like that the moment was broken. Talia let go and Susan went to help her daughter.  
  


A few minutes later, Sofie sat on the couch finishing her water. She had seated herself beside Talia, and when she put her empty cup on the table she snuggled in close. Talia relished the feeling of the small body pressed against hers and the contentment rolling off the sleepy little girl, and spoke up only with great reluctance. "I think you better get back to bed, little one."

Without moving from her comfy spot, Sofie asked with a yawn "Will you tuck me in?"

Talia stroked her forehead and murmured her agreement before they got up and slowly made their way through the house.  
  


Sofie climbed into bed and waited for Talia to pull up the sheets around her. "Tell me a story?" she asked hopefully.

Talia smiled, unable to resist a few more moments with the girl and sat on the edge of her small bed. "Alright, but just a short one."

"Something about Babylon 5?"

Talia agreed with a smile.  
  
  
"When I first arrived on Babylon 5, I was told I had to check in with the second in command. I knew nothing about her except a name, Susan Ivanova. For days I tried to reach her, but she was always busy, always working. Finally I was done waiting and went to find her at work.  
  
"The first time I saw her… Her hair was up, pulled back tight the way she usually wore it back then, but it was just the same shade as yours. She was rigid and wanted nothing to do with me, but she was beautiful, and I found myself drawn to the way she commanded everyone around her. There was something about her, something strong and powerful, but I could tell there was more underneath; something sad and maybe just a tiny bit lonely. I could relate to that. The way she held it all together, stayed strong through the pain, it was beautiful.  
  
"The only thing more beautiful to me than your Mommy on the outside, was your Mommy on the inside. But, that didn't change the fact she didn't want me around. I kept seeking her out, trying to connect, until finally she told me about your grandma—the first Sofie.  
  
"You see, back then I worked for an organization that was very bad, except I didn't know it yet; they had hurt your grandma very badly, and your Mommy was still very angry about it. So she didn't want me around as long as I was part of a group that was doing such bad things, but I didn't understand yet.  
  
"For months and months I watched your Mommy from a distance, and I loved her a little bit more with every passing day. The way she smiled when caught off guard, the way she always did the right thing no matter what, the way she fought to protect absolutely everyone, how incredibly stubborn she was and the way she *always* had to be right, the way no matter how bad a day got she was always standing straight at the end of it… It felt like I loved everything about her - except her continuing refusal to even speak with me.  
  
"Your Mommy can be a very stubborn woman when she puts her mind to something, and she had definitely put her mind to keeping me out of her life. I'd like to say I persevered in the end; certainly I didn't stop trying to form a bond, but she won like she always does.   
"After I'd been on board for over a year, I discovered one day that there were many people on the station who were trying to escape the people I worked for. They told me all their stories of the horrible things that had happened to them, and I realized your Mommy had been right all along; she was very smug when I told her that.  
  
"That night I went to her asking to talk, not because I thought she was beautiful or strong or the most amazing woman I'd ever met, but because she would understand. Maybe it was because I'd finally realized the Corps was bad, and maybe it was because I finally came to her not because I was in love with her but because I needed a friend, but whatever the reason she let me in that night, not just into her quarters but into her life.  
  
"She helped me believe things would be okay; a funny talent for someone who always believes the worst, but I knew she was on my side and as long as I had her things couldn't be too bad. After that night… suddenly those smiles of your Mommy's were turned on me, and for a few weeks I got to have the most wonderful woman in my life, and I'd never been happier. Until now."

  
Talia had noticed Sofie's eyes drift closed halfway through the story, but she'd been unable to resist finishing her fairy tale. She sat there for another moment just watching, amazed by how much the little person before her had come to mean to her in such a short time. She rose to leave, but leaned down and placed a feather-light kiss on the girl's forehead and whispered "Good night Sofie."

The murmured, half-asleep reply was surprisingly clear, and loud enough to be heard not only by the woman leaning over her but also the one standing hidden in the doorway. "Night Mama."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first section of this chapter includes a mildly-graphic sex scene. If that's not your thing, feel free to skip to the first page break - you won't miss much in the way of plot.

Talia felt her heart leap at the love in that sleepy little voice, but a moment later the doubts crept in. _Mama? Me?_  
  
She'd never even had a mother, not that she could remember anyway; what did she know about being one? And yet… the love she felt for Sofie was like nothing she'd ever known; protective, simple, pure. She loved Susan, she knew in her heart that she had never stopped, but it was complicated and confusing, utterly wonderful and completely terrifying. It had been the same with Jason; the same turbulence of feeling, the same worry it would fade - as it had in the end. That was the only sort of love she'd known, the kind you fear losing.  
  
But this… She didn't have to think about loving Sofie Ivanova, it was a simple fact of her life now. Whether she would love and want Sofie a year from now, or ten years, or fifty, wasn't a question; the only question was whether she would have a place in her life, and the possibility that she could lose these amazing people she'd only just found was the most frightening thing she could imagine in that moment.

All these thoughts passed through Talia's head in the few seconds she stood watching Sofie before she felt strong arms wrap around her from behind. Held that way, she felt so safe, and at least for the moment her fears melted away. She leaned against Susan, luxuriating in the feel of her body, and when those same arms turned her around the passion and love in Susan's eyes took her breath away. Their hands clasped and as they left the room is was impossible to say who was leading.

They walked hand in hand to Susan's room without a word, but the moment the door closed their mouths met, kissing with all the hunger that had built inside them for weeks. They stumbled toward the bed and Talia fell back across it. Susan leaned over her with a predatory grin and Talia reached up and pulled her body down on top of hers, desperately needing to feel her. Susan smiled into the kiss as her hands began to roam, slipping under Talia's shirt and caressing the smooth skin of her stomach. After a few moments they pulled apart for air, and Talia's husky voice sent shivers through Susan as she murmured, "I want to see you."

Susan began to pull off her shirt, but then Talia's hands were on top of hers and the storm raging in her eyes told Susan she wanted to do this herself. Reluctantly Susan let go of the garment and forced herself to sit still as Talia removed her shirt; it had already been far too long since she'd felt Talia's lips against her own and her patience was rapidly disappearing. The moment the shirt was off she started to lean in, but she was stopped before reaching her goal by the soft hands sliding up her bare chest to unhook her bra. Susan could no longer resist helping and soon the bra had been flung away and Susan's lips were once again locked onto Talia's.

Without ever breaking the fierce kiss, Talia flipped Susan onto her back. She thrust her tongue into the woman under her over and over, claiming every inch of her mouth as her hands sought out the ample breasts lying just beneath her own. Talia's mouth captured Susan's moans as the blonde grabbed each nipple between her thumb and forefinger, twisting them to the edge between pleasure and pain. Suddenly hands and mouth were gone and Susan whimpered at the withdrawal of the contact. Uncertain why Talia had stopped, she searched the face above her for answers. She sensed Talia's hesitance, but the raw need in her eyes sent a wave of desire through Susan. "Take me," she growled, and it was all the permission Talia needed.  
  
She lifted her hips to allow the removal of her pants, and then Talia was inside her, body and mind. First two and then three fingers plunged deep inside her over and over, and she could feel her own heated flesh surrounding Talia and yielding to her thrusts. The rhythm intensified as Talia's mouth came to her nipple, licking it lightly and relishing the tangy sweat before sucking hungrily. When she bit down none-too-gently Susan grasped her lover's hair tightly, in equal parts to keep from screaming and to hold Talia's mouth more firmly against her. As the hot tongue circled her nipple Susan moaned her lover's name. The response in her mind was a seductive purr. _~Mine.~_

Suddenly Susan understood the hesitance and the need, the intensity of the fingers driving her mercilessly to the edge. Talia's dominance, though hot as hell, wasn't exactly characteristic of her interactions with the telepath. But tonight, Talia needed to possess her, to lay claim to her body as she already had to her heart.

Gripping the blonde hair more tightly, Susan pulled the head from her breast. Talia relinquished her prize only reluctantly, but her fingers continued their rhythmic thrusts as she allowed her head to be guided towards Susan's. Blue eyes sparkled in the dim light, but there was a tenderness behind the need. Susan brought Talia's mouth close to her own, so that when she spoke the simple word was felt as much as heard: "Yours," she stated firmly before bringing Talia's lips to meet her own. There was no yielding in the word, no submission, no subservience; only pride. Pride that, at least for this night, she belonged to the woman she loved. A moment later Susan pulled back from the kiss, and with a predatory smile she nipped Talia's lower lip. "Mine."

Talia felt tears spring to her eyes as she smiled down at her lover. _Well, *almost* my lover_ , she corrected herself. _I think it's high time I finish the job_.

Susan moaned as she felt Talia's fingers curl inside her, and her wetness increased at the sight of Talia's mischievous grin. As fingers resumed their thrusting, Talia began to kiss her way down Susan's body. She trembled with expectation as hot flesh neared hot flesh. Talia flicked her tongue over her clit, and through the ecstasy Susan could taste herself as her lover did. When Talia sucked the nub into her mouth, every nerve was on fire and melting all at once. Her hips arched to provide better access for the fingers that continued to thrust inside her, and as Talia curled her digits and lightly bit down Susan felt herself explode. Talia's fingers slowly stilled insider her, but she continued to suck her clit until the waves of pleasure began to dissipate. Finally, Talia placed a gentle kiss on the swollen bundle before stretching her body out beside Susan, fingers still encased in soft, wet flesh.

"You know, this whole situation is entirely unfair," Susan complained as she turned on her side to face Talia.  
  
"And why's that?" Talia asked suspiciously.

"You have entirely too many clothes on."  
  
She was rewarded with a throaty laugh that made her tingle. "I guess we'll have to fix that."

Slowly, Talia withdrew her fingers one by and trailed them up Susan's body, leaving a sticky path of her own wetness against her skin. When finally Talia's digits reached her lips, Susan's tongue darted out to lick the tip of each before sucking her index finger into her mouth. As she licked her own juices off her lover's skin, she relished the feel of Talia's shivers.

Finally Talia's fingers were clean and she began to reach for the buttons of her blouse, but Susan stopped her.  
"My turn," the colonel stated firmly. Talia had thoroughly laid claim to her body, and she intended to return the favour with interest.

* * *

Later, as their sated bodies lay wrapped around each other, Susan noticed a small furrow in the other woman's brow.

"What are you thinking?" she asked gently.

"I was thinking about Sofie. About… what she called me," Talia answered awkwardly. Susan was hurt and confused by her discomfort; she had been so sure… She did her best to mask her sadness, but Talia wasn't fooled. She was tempted to rush to an explanation that would quell Susan's fears, but she knew Susan deserved her honesty, even her uncertainty.

"It was always hard for me to imagine being a parent, but after Control took over I was certain I would never… Even if I got myself back someday, too much had happened. How could I ever trust myself enough, much less anyone else ever trust me, to have a child? I had feared I wouldn't know how to be a mother, but after what Psi Corps—the only family I ever knew- did to me I was certain my chance was gone. And," she added softly, looking deeply into Susan's eyes, "the only woman I'd ever been able to imagine having a family with was gone from my life."  
  
"You really… thought about that? Us?"

"Just once. I had a dream, the night before I... went away." Susan saw a long-held sadness in her eyes, but there was something else too; could it be hope? A part of her was envious that Talia had had such an image to carry with her through the years they were apart, even though she could imagine what pain it had caused.

"I could show you," Talia murmured hesitantly. She seemed guarded in a way Susan hadn't seen her look since the day they found each other again; she could tell this mattered, but she wasn't sure why. She wasn't even certain which answer Talia wanted. As she lay there considering, Susan froze as she realized she'd never heard of a telepath showing an image to a mundane—she didn't even think it was possible.

How long had Talia known? She felt the old panic start to rise, the old mantra start to chant in her head. _Tell no one._  
  
Her heart started to race, but then she noticed Talia's hand lying beside hers. Talia's perfect, bare hand. She remembered the night, so long ago, when Talia had come to her quarters and taken off her gloves. When before that was the last time she had exposed herself that way? When had Talia last trusted someone the way she had trusted her that night?

Talia was asking for the same trust she had always had in Susan, and suddenly it was easy to give.

Susan laced her fingers through her lover's, and for the first time in her life she intentionally reached out to a mind not her own. _~Show me.~_

Talia's eyes glistened and she leaned forward to place a soft kiss on Susan's lips. And then, Talia was inside her, and the images came like a movie inside her mind.

_*** **Susan and Talia lay in bed, snuggled against each other as they slept, when a muffled cry came from the next room. Both women groaned as they slowly opened their eyes.**_

_**"I'll go," Susan mumbled, reluctantly removing the arm she had draped across Talia's hips and dragging herself from the bed. Talia watched her go through half-open eyes and pulled the blankets more tightly around her. The crying had already stopped, but Talia lay awake. The bed seemed to be growing and growing, and it was far too empty alone. Finally she got up and tiptoed down the hall, following the sweet sound of a Russian lullaby.** _

**When Talia entered the nursery, her heart filled with joy at the sight before her. There stood Susan, holding their little boy and rocking him in her arms. Talia slipped her arms around her lover's waist from behind and standing on tiptoes rested her chin on Susan's shoulder. Peering down at her son, Talia reached out a hand to stroke his deep brown hair, just like Susan's, and he looked up at her with eyes that held more grey than blue. She stood there for a moment wrapped in love and the soft sounds of Susan's singing until the little eyes began to drift shut and Talia's opened.**  
  
She was in Susan's bed back on Babylon 5, and as she reached out a hand the bed was too empty, and for just a moment she wondered if Susan was with the baby.***  
  


Susan's mind was her own again and she felt a momentary disorientation as she pulled Talia closer to her, missing the warmth and peace she'd felt in Talia's dream. As Talia gently stroked her hair, Susan noticed her lover was on the verge of tears.

"Every night since then I've woken up reaching out for you. Even when Control… When she slept our minds blended just as they did before she took over. She never understood why she woke up that way, with my hand reaching across the bed that had never held anyone but her. Sometimes, in the half-second before the walls of my prison closed around my mind, I'd wonder where you were. I'd wonder if you were with our son, if you were holding him and singing to him. I thought of that dream so many times… At first it was something to hold onto, but the longer I was trapped the more it became a torture. It was a reminder of everything I would never have, everything we'd lost. We could never have that future; I could never be with you again; I could never be a mother… And now…"

"And now?" Susan prompted, barely daring to breathe.

"Now I've found you again. And suddenly there's this little girl who found her way into my heart, and I am _terrified_ I'm going to mess it up. Because the truth is, I've never wanted anything as much as I want this. I've never…" Talia paused for a moment, swallowing the lump in her throat.  
  
"I've never felt like this before. Back at the Academy, I loved Jason, but the Corps was the center of both our lives, and I loved that he was a part of it and could guide me as much as I loved him for himself. And then there was you… You captivated me from the moment we met, and I was half in love before I even got a smile from you the first time. And then when you did smile at me… when we finally became friends it seemed too good to be true, and the night you kissed me I felt more drawn to you than I ever had to anyone. You were all wrong for me—you _hated_ me, but I could never get you out of my head, and then you didn't hate me anymore. Then we were laughing together, spending time together, getting to know the people behind our labels. And I loved you, I really did. But we each kept ourselves separate. Jason and I never had secrets, simply because… we had no secrets to keep. I was young, and he was a Teep, and I had nothing to hide. My life was so much more complicated by the time we were together, and I never meant to keep anything from you but there were parts of my life, parts of _me_ , that I couldn't share. And you always had your walls; the closer I got the more I realized that there were parts of you I couldn't reach. But now…"   
  
She reached out and stroked Susan's cheek, staring deeply into her eyes. "I see you and you see me, and the walls are gone. No more secrets. And you have this beautiful life here, with your beautiful daughter, and it's everything I've been too afraid to even hope for. _You_ are everything I've been too afraid to hope for. I've been in love with you for 13 years, but somehow it's more now; there's something here, in this house with you and Sofie, that's been missing, I just haven't quite figured out what it is yet."

Susan pulled Talia tightly to her. Talia's arms wrapped around her waist and as her head came to rest on Susan's shoulder she felt a tear fall on her naked skin.

Susan thought about her own life, about the things that had been missing. When Sofie came along, her heart opened again, more fully than it had since long before her mother's passing—but Talia Winters already knew how to love. Talia had loved _her_ , long before she had let herself start to love back. Even after her daughter was born, there had been things missing from her life; if she was honest, that had never really gone away completely, until now. Like Talia, she struggled to put into words what it was she had been without, but in that moment she knew that everything she had been missing was lying in her arms.  
  
What was it she had always tried to give Sofie, the things she herself had been without for so long, that she wanted desperately to be sure her daughter always had? There was love, and affection, and time together; she did her best, but she always felt her little girl deserved more than she could give. What was it Susan had had as a child that she had spent the last 8 years trying to recreate?

For years Sofie had been the only thing besides EarthForce that really mattered to her. She cared about John and Delenn and David, and Stephen and Garibaldi, and the few friends she'd made since returning to Earth, but she lived her life for Sofie and for her career, and the truth was often she was lonely. Not just lonely for a partner, but lonely for people other than Sofie to really share her life with, lonely for… family. At the back of her mind, never acknowledged until now, was the fear that two people could never be enough, that she alone could never be all the family Sofie needed and deserved. And what of her own needs? It had been so long since she'd even considered them. She tried to remember the last time she put herself first, and then the realization came to her: Sofie. She had put what she wanted above her career, above her fears, the day she decided to keep her baby.

Being a mother had seemed like the most terrifying choice she could ever make, but then all at once it was the easiest. She hadn't planned to get pregnant, hadn't ever thought she'd want to, and when it happened she was equal parts angry and frightened, but after weeks of indecision it hit her that this might be her chance to change her life, to be more than a uniform again, to let love into her life again. Before she knew it she couldn't imagine wanting anything more than the life growing inside her, and she fell head-over-heels in love the day Sofie Talia Ivanova was born. But since then she had lived for her child. She had no regrets, but she wondered if just maybe, it was time to think about herself again. To think about what was missing from her own life, not just Sofie's.

What was it that Talia gave her? What was it she felt when she held this stubborn, playful, loving woman in her arms? She felt love and warmth. She felt safety. She felt like here, in this moment and with this woman, she didn't have to be the strong mother or the stronger officer; she could be scared and it would be okay. She felt what she had always needed, and what Talia—lonely Talia who couldn't remember any life before the Corps—had always needed. She felt… _~Home.~_

They had been silent for a long time before the word entered Talia's mind like a loving caress. She knew everything she wanted was in this house, that the love she felt here had been missing from her life for so long she hadn't even known the hole could be filled, but as she lay there wrapped in her lover's embrace her happiness was tempered with the fear that she wouldn't have a place here. With that one simple word, full of promises and hope, Talia's fears were laid to rest.

* * *

As they drifted off to sleep that night, arms wrapped around each other, Talia whispered, "Don't let me go."  


And for the first night in many years, Talia Winters slept through the night, never waking to wonder where her lover was.


	6. Chapter 6

In the morning, Susan's alarm sounded far too soon. Both women groaned at the same time, bringing them each to a fit of giggles. When their laughter finally stopped, Susan kissed Talia hungrily, and despite morning breath it was the best start to a day she'd had in a very long time. Finally she pulled back, then placed one final, lingering kiss on the other woman's lips before murmuring, "I'm coming home to you."

Then Susan jumped out of bed, forcing herself to move away from Talia before she was sucked back in. Never before had she been as sorry that she had work on a Saturday and couldn't miss her morning meeting. Dressing quickly, she refused to look back before she left the room, knowing if she saw Talia watching her, her resolve would crumble.

* * *

A few hours later, Sofie was sitting on the floor playing with her doll. Without looking up she quietly asked, "Talia, do you have to leave soon?"

Talia immediately put down the newspaper she'd been reading and slid off the couch to sit near the girl. "Do you want me to?"

Sofie shook her head and stayed silent. When she finally spoke again, she still wouldn't look at the woman beside her. "You could stay here, if you want."

Talia's heart fluttered. "I think your Mommy might have something to say about that," she pointed out.

"Mommy likes having you here," she said simply. "So do I."

"Can I tell you a secret?" Sofie instantly perked up at that and finally looked at Talia, moving closer to hear what the woman had to divulge. "I like being here, and I wish I could stay. But I don't know if I can."

"I don't want you to go."

"Would you be very mad if I had to?"

"No, but…" She looked away again, idly twirling the hair on her doll. When she spoke, her voice was soft and sad. "You said family are the people who are always here for you. If you go you won't be here and we can't be family."

"Hey, look at me. I'm going to tell you something I've never said to anyone before, and I want you to promise you'll remember, okay?"

Talia's voice was sterner than Sofie had ever heard it, the usual playfulness gone. Being the child of a Colonel, she knew to pay attention to a tone like that. She sat up straighter and nodded, giving Talia her full attention.

"I love you, and if I have to leave, I'm not leaving _you_." Tears sprung to Talia's eyes when she felt the little arms wrap around her tightly.

"I love you too Talia," Sofie murmured, head against her shoulder. "I wish you could be my Mama."

Talia ached at the words, but she knew she felt the same. Being here with Susan and Sofie was the sort of life she had never known. For the first time she felt like she had a true family, and she would give anything to keep it.

* * *

  
Susan had been distracted all through her morning meetings. She'd been meant to oversee a training exercise in the afternoon, but when midday hit she called her second in command and asked him to take control; there was no point in being there if she wasn't 100%, and Susan's heart was somewhere else already. She quickly gathered her things and headed home.

* * *

The Colonel seemed to be making a bad habit of listening in on conversations.  
  
When she walked into her house, all that was on her mind was finding her girls and finding lunch, but as soon as she entered the living room she was caught by the sight of her daughter and her lover. There was something so beautiful in the way they were together, their playful intimacy and genuine affection, that she couldn't resist the chance to just watch them for a few minutes.

After only a moment she heard Talia's rich voice. "Can I tell you a secret?" She watched Sofie move in closer, and struggled to hear the next words. "I like being here, and I wish I could stay. But I don't know if I can." Susan frowned at that. The visit had always been temporary, but after last night she had thought things were changing. Had it only changed for her?

"I don't want you to go," Sofie pleaded, and Susan felt her heart ache.

"Would you be very mad if I had to?"

"No, but…" Susan watched her daughter look away, and when she spoke again her sadness reflected Susan's feelings. "You said family are the people who are always here for you. If you go you won't be here and we can't be family."

Susan was floored by the words. Just last night she had heard Sofie call Talia "Mama," and thought about how much she wanted Talia in their lives, yet hearing Sofie's desire for family made it all more real—and it made her realize she'd been right all along to fear that she wasn't enough for her daughter. After the loss of her mother, then Ganya, and finally her father, she had thought family was something lost to her forever.  
Even on Babylon 5, where she had been part of a community and trusted and cared for those around her, she had kept herself apart, and she had never let herself think of anyone as more than a friend and ally. Family was forever, and what lasts forever in the real world? Talia's loss had shown her how little you could count on people to stick around in your life, even when you loved them.  
  
But then Sofie had come along, and suddenly family was a very real thing. Family was her daughter. She had made more of an effort to keep in touch with John and Delenn than she might have otherwise, wanting to give Sofie other people in her life, but she had always turned aside from the girl's desire to label them as part of their family. She hadn't wanted her daughter to experience the losses she had, to know the pains that sometimes come from family. But if David wasn't her cousin would it hurt any less if he died? If Sofie didn't call Talia 'Mama' would it break their hearts any less if she left them?

Susan was so wrapped up in her thoughts she nearly missed Talia's next words; had it not been for the uncharacteristic command in the other woman's voice she would have stayed in her own head.

"Hey, look at me. I'm going to tell you something I've never said to anyone before, and I want you to promise you'll remember, okay? I love you. And if I have to leave, I'm not leaving _you_."

As Susan watched her little girl hug Talia, she realized she wanted all those things said to her. This amazing woman that had come into their lives was so full of love, and she didn't want to lose that. She didn't want to lose _her_ , not again. She had promised Talia she would come home to her, and she decided in that moment, watching the woman who had never truly left her heart falling for her child, that she didn't want that just for today.

Susan Ivanova was a woman of action, and her path was clear to her now. She headed back towards the door, hoping to leave without being noticed. As she left, she heard the words that she thought would make her heart burst.

"I wish you could be my Mama."

"Me too, dushenka moya."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looking back on it now, I have really mixed feelings about how I wrote the Ivanova family. On the one hand, I still love the idea that Talia helped fill a hole in their lives, that there was a piece missing where she always should have been - I'm a romantic and a sap for family feels. But at the same time, I fear writing it this way is disrespectful to single parents, because I do not actually believe that children of single parents don't/can't have full families and full lives. Single parents are amazing and Susan Ivanova is amazing and her daughter was happy and loved long before Talia came into their lives. Talia just makes their lives *better*.


	7. Chapter 7

"I was thinking, would you help me do something extra special for Mommy?"

"Like what?" Sofie asked with an excited twinkle in her eye.

"Like… cook a special meal, or make her a present. Do you think there's something she'd like?"

"We could make a seize-her salad! It's Mommy's favourite. I don't like the icky fish, but Mommy does."

Talia only just suppressed her laughter, but she couldn't help a small smile. "Ceasar salad is Mommy's favourite huh? Well how about we go shopping and see if we can find the ingredients. I think there's one other thing we should try to find, if you'll help me."

"What what what?" Sofie asked excitedly, bouncing up and down.

"We're going hunting for roses."

"Mommy loves roses! We tried to put some in the garden, but Chris says they don't grow here."

"Hmm, well I bet if we look very very hard we can find a bouquet to buy, so Mommy has a special surprise when she gets home."

"Special surprises help Mommy know we love her, right?"

"Yes little one. Mommy always knows we love her," Talia's smile broadened at the words, relishing the knowledge they were finally true, "but it's always nice to remind her how special she is."

"What makes Mommy special?"

"Well, she's stubborn and strong and brilliant, and she's loyal and kind, and she's never afraid to make hard choices. And best of all, she's ours."

* * *

"It's perfect," Susan told the man behind the counter, unable to suppress the grin spreading across her face or the twinkle in her normally hard eyes. She had never thought herself a lucky person; mother dies young, brother dies, father estranged then dies too, so many lost loves and lost dreams. Then Sofie came along, and now Talia, and today she found just what she needed—more perfect than she could have hoped for—just when she needed it. Maybe she was finally done paying off karma; maybe her luck had finally changed.

* * *

Susan was pounced upon as soon as she arrived home, and it seemed her girls had been nearly as busy with their afternoon as she had. Sofie proudly presented her with two red roses, but the light in her eyes dimmed just a little when she admitted she had accidentally broken the stem on their third rose. It was sitting on the counter, and Susan picked it up with a gentle smile. The remaining stem was only an inch long, and she easily broke off the only thorn and threw it away. She squatted down to look Sofie in the eye, and placed the flower over her daughter's ear. "Now it's even more beautiful."

Sofie smiled at that, and soon the stems on the other flowers had been broken off and thrown away and each woman wore a rose in her hair and a goofy grin on her face.

The dinner was amazing, and Susan was touched by the effort they'd put in to the meal. That had sat down to eat almost as soon as she'd come in, so she had yet to put her plans for the evening into action; she tried to focus on the wonderful food and more wonderful company, but she was antsy. Finally they neared the end of the meal, and she could wait no longer to get things started.

"Sofie, guess who I talked to today?"

"Ummm… A Pak'Ma'Ra?" she guessed wildly, earning a chuckle from her mother.

"Not quite. It was Chris! He said he had extra ice cream, and an old cartoon but no one to watch it with him. And, he mentioned he missed you."

"I miss him too! Can I watch cartoons with him Mommy? Pleeeease?"

"You know, I think that might just work!" Susan winked at Talia, pleased that her daughter was feeding right into her plans. "In fact, you haven't spent the night with him since before we went to Babylon 5. Should we see if he's up for a sleepover? Lt. Ericks is on the overnight shift, so I bet he'd like the company."

"Can I help him make pancakes for breakfast?" Sofie asked with excitement.

"I think that would be up to him, but it never hurts to ask! Just remember to have some fruit so I don't have to worry. Do you want to call him or should I?"

"I'll do it!" she called out, already racing to her room.

Susan couldn't help but smile at Sofie's enthusiasm, and her expression brightened even more when she saw Talia watching her with a knowing gleam.

"If I didn't know any better," Talia purred, scooting her chair closer, "I'd think you were trying to get her out of the way."

"And why would I do that?"

The telepath leaned in close enough for her hot breath on Susan's ear to send heat coursing through her body. "So you can have your way with me, and _take me_ everywhere," she whispered seductively.

"Miss Winters," she choked out, "I do believe you have a dirty mind."

* * *

"Chris says I can spend the night! And he wants to hear alllll about everything since I saw him! And he has a new game for us to play, but he said it might have to wait until tomorrow cause sleep is important."

Talia smiled. "That sounds wonderful Sofie. Do you stay with Chris often?"

Sofie nodded. "He used to pick me up from school, and watch me when Mommy had to work. He's been my nanny since forever! He and Lt. Ericks came to the base with us. But now that I'm bigger and we live here I don't need him so much."

"Do you miss him?"

"Only sometimes. We still have sleepovers! When you're not here we play together every day, and he teaches me piano and lets me climb trees, but I like when you're here so it's okay if I don't see him so much." Sofie said with a small shrug.

"I love getting time with you, but it's important not to forget people when we make new friends. I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time with him tonight."

"Speaking of," Susan commented as she came into the room, "you should go get your things together so we can head over."

Sofie agreed and bounded out of the room. Susan slipped an arm around Talia's waist as they watched her go.

* * *

Talia liked Chris instantly. He looked gigantic next to Sofie, but the way he picked her up and twirled her around before bringing her up to sit on his shoulders, laughing with glee and resting her chin on his bald black head, instantly endeared her. It felt good to finally meet someone who was a big part of Sofie's life; for all that she'd been in the Ivanovas' world for more than a month, they'd been so wrapped up in enjoying their time together there was a lot about their regular lives that was still unfamiliar to Talia. She'd heard Chris and his husband mentioned a few times, but it wasn't until she saw them together that she realized how important he was to Sofie. Getting to meet him felt like taking one more step in being part of their lives.

After Sofie hugged them both goodbye, Susan and Talia left for home hand in hand. Talia couldn't help thinking of it that way, even though she'd been there such a short time. The blonde realized with a flutter that this would be the first time they had the house to themselves. She grinned at the prospect of a whole night alone with her love.


	8. Chapter 8

"Talia, there's something I need to tell you," Susan began cautiously. "I don't want to go back to where we were. I know you said that's what you used to dream about, us picking up where we left off. But that's not what I want anymore." As Susan paused, Talia felt her heart stop; she had felt Susan's anxiety as soon as they sat down, but she had never expected this… This was the end of all her stupid hopes, her dreams of finally having a family. Susan didn't want her.

She tried to find her voice, to tell Susan it was okay, she understood, to say anything that would stop the conversation before she had to hear the damning words, but all she could do was sit there in desperation, until Susan continued.

"12 years ago, I was terrified. I was falling for you, but it was the single most frightening thing I had ever done, and I was fighting it every step of the way. I was fighting you, I was fighting us, I was even fighting myself. I was scared of loving you… but what scares me now," she paused again, reaching out to stroke her lover's cheek, "is the possibility of losing you. You see, I don't want to go back to flirting and dating and running from my feelings. I want a life with you Talia. Waking up with you this morning, that's what I want every day, for the rest of my life. And Sofie… Sofie adores you. You fit here, with us, and I want you here, not just for a few days until you go back, or a week here and there when you have time to visit. I want you here with us always, making me—and my daughter—fall in love with you more every day, falling asleep with you and waking up with you and building a life with you. So…" Susan paused and pulled a small box from her pocket. "Talia Winters, will you marry me?"

Talia didn't smile. She didn't laugh or cry or say a word, and for one brief moment Susan feared. Then Talia's lips were upon hers, devouring her with an intensity and need she'd never known.

* * *

Talia lay with her head on Susan's chest and traced circles on her belly. The moment was practically perfect, but Susan could tell there was something on her mind, and the timidity in her voice when she finally spoke worried her. "Susan… there's something I want."

Susan placed a gentle hand on her lover's cheek until Talia finally met her gaze. "Anything," she said simply, and the love in her voice gave Talia courage.

"It's Sofie. I…" Talia hesitated, struggling to find the words to explain. "I want to be her mother."

"Does that mean you'll marry me then?" Susan asked with a grin cracking wide across her face.

Talia kissed her then, long and slow, and when she finally pulled back she wore a satisfied smile. "I had thought," she teased lightly as she stroked her lover's stomach with the tips of her fingers, "I gave a rather enthusiastic response." Her hand crept lower. "But if you need more convincing…"

Susan grabbed her wrist, stopping Talia's movements and bringing her hand to her, gently kissing her palm. Much as she wanted to feel Talia inside her again, she knew there was more that needed to be said.  
  
"There's something I need to show you," she informed Talia before dragging them both out of bed. Leading her fiancee into the living room, she continued her explanation.  
"We got a little caught up before," she observed with a wolfish grin, "but I want you to know… this isn't just about me." They sat together on the sofa and Susan wrapped one arm around Talia's waist while the other reached for the velvet box lying closed on the table. She brought it closer and opened the top to reveal a beautiful gold ring with three small blue stones. The colours were exquisite, and oddly familiar; Talia looked up at Susan and saw the same shade looking back at her.

"This one," Susan went on, pointing at the blue-grey stone in the middle, "matches your eyes. And these two," she pointed to the outer stones, both a deeper blue, "match mine and Sofie's." She set the box back on the table and lifted out the ring. "Talia, I love you, and I want to be your wife. I want to come home to you and build a life with you. But my life isn't about just me. This ring is what I want for us. I'm not just offering you a marriage, I'm offering you a family. I heard you and Sofie talking, when she told you she wished you could be her Mama, and the truth is I want that too." She gently grabbed Talia's hand and slipped the ring into place. "Marry me Talia Winters. Help me raise our daughter. We belong with each other."

Talia's face broke into a grin and Susan felt her chest tighten. Would she ever get used to the joy she felt each time she witnessed her love's smile, like a ray of light long after she'd given up ever again seeing the sun? She hoped not somehow.

* * *

Talia woke early the next day to find Susan half on top of her. She shifted to wrap her own arms around her fiancée's waist and rested her cheek against long brown locks, luxuriating in their softness against her skin. Susan mumbled "Tal," in her sleep and snuggled more firmly against her.  
  
The blonde's heart swelled with pride at the nickname that only came from her lover while she slept; it meant more to her that way, hearing the subconscious affection that could never be faked. It hit her suddenly that this was her life now; waking up like this wasn't just for today. She could hear that voice every morning, sleep beside this woman every night. She could be happy.

Susan woke to a strange dripping falling on her forehead. As she struggled to drag herself out of her usual morning fog, she realized what she was feeling was tears and slammed into wakefulness as she jerked her head up, fear coursing through her.

Her anxiety turned towards confusion when she found Talia smiling at her. "I'm sorry I woke you," Talia croaked, voice thick with sleep and tears. Susan shifted so she could look into her lover's eyes, forcing Talia to let go of her; not ready to relinquish the feeling of waking in her protective embrace, as soon as she was settled she guided Talia's arm back to her waist. The blonde's smile deepened and Susan gently wiped a tear from her cheek. She noticed no more were falling, but Talia's eyes still shimmered.

"What is it Talia?"

"I just realized, I'm home. Growing up, the Corps was the only family I had, and the last few years I haven't even had that. And now… I have you. I have a family and a home, and I don't have to go." She stared deeply into the blue eyes she adored, seeing tears forming there as they had in her own. "I'm happy my love."

Susan reached out a hand to steady herself, needing the feel of her beloved grounding her before she spoke. _~I love you, my Talia. And you will always be home here.~_

Talia's smile shone brighter than ever; Susan's fear at speaking into her mind wasn't lost on her, but it meant everything that she wanted to overcome those fears. For her. For **them.** _~I love you too, my Commander. And you will never get rid of me,~_ she added with a tickle to Susan's abdomen.

The brunette couldn't help but laugh, and soon a full-on tickle fight ensued until Talia fell on top of her, both women exhausted from their playful struggles but unable to quell the last of their childish giggles. Chests moving against each other as they laughed, it wasn't long before their minds turned to different matters and they found other ways to exhaust each other.

* * *

"Hey sweetheart," Susan greeted her daughter with a grin, bending down to give her a hug. Sofie returned the gesture happily, feeling joy radiate off her mother, but the uncertainty of the woman standing beside Susan wasn't lost on the girl. It had been weeks since she'd felt such hesitance from Talia, and it was made more confusing by the fact she could tell the blonde was far from unhappy. Despite her curiosity, Sofie's instinct to reassure won out over her desire to interrogate at least for the moment, and she gave Talia a warm hug. She could feel a little of the woman's tension ease and pulled back with a smile. "I had so much fun! Wanna see my drawing?"

"Of course," Talia agreed with a warm smile. Sofie led them to the kitchen, where her art was displayed on the fridge much as it was at home.

"I hope you don't mind if I keep this one," Chris commented as the women looked closer, a twinkle in his dark eyes, "it's some of her best work."

By the looks of things, Sofie had used every colour she could get her hands on. The whole sky was varying shades of pinks, oranges, and yellows, as if it were set on fire at sunset. Below was a sea of grass, ranging from emerald to teal to seafoam green. Against this background were four figures. The tallest had dark brown hair, drawn in many thin lines falling over her shoulders; her mouth was a thin pink smile and her eyes small circles of bright blue; one arm fell down at her side, hand a small bump resting against her leg, while the other was at a slight angle, reaching out to the woman beside her. Their hands met in the space between them, forming a circular blob with fingers drawn on meticulously. The figure forming the other half of the hand-hold was nearly as tall as the first but drawn in greater detail. Her hair was a mix yellows and golds, swirling down to brush her shoulders; her lips were a deep red shaped in a thin smile like that of the woman beside her, and her eyes were a stormy blend of greys and blues. The hand not linking to the other woman was resting on the shoulder of the third figure. She was smaller than the first two figures, but was otherwise almost identical to the first, with hair a slightly lighter shade of brown and falling just a little farther past her shoulders. Standing in front of her was the final piece, a large white dog with small pointed ears and a bright pink tongue hanging from its mouth. Its paws were laughably large, unlike the people's feet which were quite small for their bodies, but it was rather cute all the same, with a thick collar Sofie had seemingly drawn as an excuse to use every colour she hadn't yet employed.

Susan realized she was growing more attuned to Talia all the time when she felt the woman's heart flutter; she didn't need to look to know happy tears had once again sprung to her beloved's eyes. She reached out a hand and laced her fingers with Talia's, just like in the picture. Talia turned her head to meet her gaze just for a second before looking back at Sofie, but that one moment was enough to see all the love flowing from Talia's smile.

"It's beautiful Sofie, but who's that?" she asked pointing at the dog.

"I named him Salenn. Mommy always said we couldn't have a dog cause she's gone too much, but I thought maybe if you stayed…?" Talia melted at the hope she saw in Sofie's upturned face, and she didn't have to be a telepath to know it was about more than a pet.

"He's a very cute dog," Susan cut in, wanting to be alone with her family before they followed that line of conversation. "It's a great picture Sofie. Are you okay with it staying here with Chris?"

Sofie nodded, though Susan noticed her eyes dimmed a little at the evasion. "I can draw more pictures," she asserted with a half-hearted smile.

"You most certainly can," Talia agreed, "and I bet they'll keep getting better. You're quite the artist already." Sofie's smile turned genuine at that. "Your Mommy and I were talking about going for a walk since it's such a nice day. Why don't you gather your things and tell Chris goodbye, then we'll head to the park?"

"Okay!" the girl agreed with excitement, running full-speed to the spare bedroom she regularly occupied.

Susan noticed the smile on Chris's face as he watched Talia. If she hadn't known him to be a happily married man, she might have felt a flare of jealousy; as it was, Susan knew that his expression was one of approval, and her chest swelled with pride.

Sofie returned a moment later with her backpack and a stuffed animal, and after a quick goodbye they strolled towards the creek where they had gone a few days before. The day was warm and sunny, but an autumn breeze danced around them and before long Sofie was running and twirling in delight, making circles around Susan and Talia but never straying far. As they happily watched their daughter, Susan's hand found Talia's; she couldn't resist the chance to feel the cool metal around her lover's finger against her skin, a physical reminder that she was going nowhere. The stalwart Colonel found herself grinning once more, and thought ruefully that she would have to stop the habit before she ruined her image; what kind of commanding officer would she be if she didn't instill fear in her soldiers?

As they finally reached the water's edge, Talia gracefully sat down in the dirt. Susan was surprised to see her lack of concern for the dress she wore; another sign that the telepath wasn't quite the same woman she'd known 13 years ago. The longer Talia was with her, the more Susan found she liked seeing these little changes, the details that reminded her of how far they'd come and of all the little things she would continue to learn about the woman she loved as they passed the coming years side by side.

A small smile on her face, Susan sat beside her, entwining their fingers once more, and a moment later Sofie joined them, pulling off her shoes and slipping her feet into the water.

Talia reached out and stroked Sofie's hair, and relished the feeling when the girl rested her head against her shoulder. "Sofie?" she murmured, feeling her anxiety rising again foolishly. A gentle squeeze from the warm hand still held in hers helped calm her. She wanted to be the one to say all this, but that didn't make her any less nervous, especially when quizzical eyes locked on to hers. "Mommy and I had an idea. We thought, maybe you could call me Mama?"

Everything happened in a moment. Blue eyes grew wide as saucers, and then Sofie was upon her, squeezing her so tight she could hardly breathe and squealing in delight. A grin spreading across her face, Talia returned the hug for a moment before pulling back. "You're making it hard to breathe, little one," she told the girl with a smile.

Sofie beamed at her and shifted her gaze back and forth between the women before her –her mothers—as a flood of questions fell from her mouth. Did this mean Talia was staying? Would they keep their house? Were they getting married? Could they get a dog? Could they get a baby? Would Talia live with them forever and ever?

A slightly panicked look came into Susan's eyes at the barrage, but Talia just smirked at her fiancée, enjoying seeing her squirm; there were a few of those questions Talia wondered about herself, and even though she knew now wasn't the time for all those conversations it was delightful to have someone else ask for her.

Finally the questions slowed, and to save her bewildered love Talia once again took over the conversation. "We are getting married, and if it's okay with you I would very much like to stay with you forever and ever and _ever_." Sofie beamed at her. "The rest," she added with a glance at Susan, "we'll figure out as we go."

Sofie hugged her again, and she felt Susan's arm slip behind her as she joined the embrace.

 _~Yes, my love,~_ Susan murmured into her mind as she pressed a kiss against her forehead, _~we'll figure it out, together.~_

* * *

That night as Talia lay wrapped around the love of her life, she thought back over the years since she'd first met Susan, all the twists and turns that had brought them here.  
  
She'd spent so many years alone, thinking she could never have a life like this—never have love or safety or home. So many years spent missing the past, missing the woman who was finally beside her once more, hating the Corps and even the universe for ripping them apart. For so long all she wanted was to get back the life she'd had, but as she pulled the sheets more tightly around her and felt Susan snuggle more firmly against her she knew she wouldn't go back for anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once upon a time, I imagine a continuation of this story. I no longer see myself ever writing it, but for anyone curious, in my head Susan and Talia have a son a couple years don't the road. Then, something awful happens and we actually revert to canon and find a very bitter Susan who's all alone at the end of her life - but at least she had love so I guess it's not all bad? I think I was planning to write Sofie surviving, but joining the Rangers and not seeing her mother very often (even though they would always remain close), while Talia and the baby died.
> 
> So basically we should all be happy that I'm not writing part 3, cause it sounds super depressing. Let's go back to enjoying the fluff, shall we?


End file.
